The scar tissue you speak of can be broken up by Evening Primrose Oil. It is usually in a capsule, and you just apply the oil (massage it in) to the scar tissue. It helps soften and release it. I tell women who have had episiotomies (another form of genital mutilation, IMO) to use EPO on their scaring... it helps tremendously.
Thanks for the historical context. Being raised in the United States I have learned little about British history other than what I glean from reading literature.
No surprise about British mums and their lack of foreplay. Unfortunately, I beleive that situation is still prevalent today across the pond.
In my opinion, Darby is a richer scholar of human sexuality and the culture of parenting than Gollaher, who wrote a related book about the rise of circumcision in the USA.
British routine circ fascinates because of the way it blended in with the British class system. So much so that a slang name for the circumcised penis was "toff penis." At Eaton and Harrow, 80-90% of the boys were cut. At the upper middle class boarding school Richard Dawkins attended in the 1950s, 50-60% of the boys were cut. Among the sons of men who ate fush and chups and threw darts in pubs, the circ rate was at best 10%. The overall rate never exceeded 35%. British circumcision became like a "cattle brand" denoting better origins, having a mother with aspirations.
In 1945, the British people elected the most left wing government ever. Is it any surprise that that government defunded routine circ in 1950? Why should the taxpayer pay the toffs to have cosmetic surgery done to their penises, so that the toffs would recognise each other in sports changing rooms and when doing Army service?
Because the author is a gay male, he has difficulty appreciating the mind set of British mums and nannies regarding boys' penises. The discovery of bacteria and of the role of human waste in propagating disease was a compelling reason to keep the genitalia clean. But upper British mums, and the nannies they hired, felt that to concern themselves with a boy's penis was beneath their dignity. They also believed that a circumcised boy was clean merely by sitting in his nightly bath. Hence they had boys circumcised so they would be spared having to be concerned about that part of his anatomy. By doing this, British mums revealed that foreplay done to their husbands was not a significant factor in the marital sex life of British upper women. Any surprise??
About 2-3 ago I discovered Banana Republic pima cotton boxer briefs. The pima cotton is noticeably softer and smoother than regular cotton, and I've complete switched to them from boxers.
As a mother, a doula, a sex educator and a human being, thank you for keeping your son intact, and for sharing your story. Your candidness will help other families, especially fathers, navigate these waters. Many blessings!
It takes a courageous man to recognize the harm done to him on his organ of pleasure and procreation and to protect his son from the same wounding. Your ability to explain your decision to your son is commendable!
Before my grandson started kindergarten, I explained to him that children could be very cruel to one another. I was called "four eyes" because I wore glasses, but I couldn't take my glasses off to avoid teasing because I wouldn't be able to see. I told him that some men told me they had been teased because they were intact when most of the boys in their school were circumcised. I said, "If anyone ever teases you, it's because they don't understand normal anatomy or because they might wish they were intact, too, but can't admit it." Matthew replied, "Don't worry, Nana, I won't tease them back; they've been hurt enough already." This is not unlike the comment your son made. Children usually understand. Another 5-year-old, when he learned about circumcision, said to his mother, "I'm glad you didn't let anyone cut that part off my penis, that's the part that tickles the best!" He knew nothing about the ridged band, with its 20,000 to 100,000 nerve endings, which encircles the opening of the foreskin, but he realized what those nerve endings do. He knew they are the most sensitive part of the penis. Out of the mouths of babes.
Thanks for your brilliant slide show! I will share it with others.
I have learned so much about circumcision and reasons to keep boys intact over the last few weeks. I was honored to interview Marilyn Milos yesterday and after preparing for the show (geared mostly to mainstream parents) I did something I generally don't do. I usually present both sides of issues, bringing forward the benefits and risks and guiding parents to make informed decisions. This show was different, because I feel so strongly after reading the available data and stories like yours that there are simply no benefits that warrant infant circumcision.
Although I am a mom to only girls right now, I just wanted to say thanks. It has been stories like yours that brought this to my attention. And now, in addition to telling the truth about the harm of circumcision, I can also protect my own future sons.
Your story literally brought tears to my eyes.
Thanks too for the images- I'll save these to explain to my daughters when they are older.
Thank you for leaving your son intact. My father was intact but had me cut at age 4 due to 'medical issues'. I have talked to him and he has apologised, that gave me some closure. Foreskin restoration is a long journey but well worth it. When I have a son in the future, I will definitely leave him intact.
When each of my daughters is about to begin her dating life, their mother and I will explain that they can expect two kinds of penises. There are realistic photographic images in Wikimedia Commons that are devoid of pornographic intent. One kind is what Nature makes, the other kind is the result of amputative surgery. Both kinds should inspected for cleanliness before intimacy. Getting a condom on an intact number is a bit harder, but is an art that must be mastered. The extra skin can make for more fun. It really comes into its own in marital intimacy without a condom. Some women much prefer intimacy with an intact man.
Finally, I will tell them that should they ever give birth to a son, to never never cut off the tender moving bits on the end of the penis. That is the Ground Zero of my sexual feelings.
You've got to start watching and reporting on my blog http://www.glorialemay.com/blog
There's a subject heading on the right side with my Intact Penis posts.
Thanks for doing this roundup. Gloria in Canada
What a great and sensitive way of handling this subject. I remember having the talk with my son, after he got picked on in the boys bathroom at school. Tough for me, as a single mother, but I did the best I could.
Before my son was born, I had decided that I would definitely not subject my son to the "procedure". My ob-gyn was alarmed, as were nearly all members of my family. My dad, however, told my mom, "Well, I'm not cut. Has that been a problem?" My mom stopped bugging me about it. My pediatrician, who was quite elderly, also had no problem and was very thorough in explaining the care of an intact penis. I am thankful for the support of these two older and wiser gentlemen. At any rate, I recently told my son that the choice was his if he wanted to be circumcised or not. He said, "What? Are you kidding?" So, I guess he is fine with the decision I made as well.
That is awesome!! You handled it so well and you obviously raised a very smart young man. My son is five and he is natural as well. He does know what circumcision is. He does now that other people are and he is not. My husband's family is Jewish and so last year we had to go to a briss (UGH!! That was such an awful experience - not sure I can do it again). He asked questions then and so we gave them to him. At this point he is very happy we did not do that to him.
My sons are 27 months and 3 months and both intact. I'm so glad my husband didn't have any "look alike" issues! I have been wondering how we (or he) would talk about it and you've put together such a nice presentation. I really appreciate the thoughtful logic progression (though I'm fairly sure the tattoo photo you posted was a photoshopped image for fun. I have seen the very same photo without the "Slayer" on the chest.) of talking points that talk about culture and choice. And your son's conclusion is priceless. Good job, Dad. You're raising a compassionate and thoughtful son.
I am so grateful for this slideshow! I hope you don't mind me using it in a presentation for fellow nursing students. We have been "educated" about anatomy with books that depict circumcised penises as normal. We have had no education about the foreskin whatsoever. I happen to be giving a talk about the Genitourinary system that will be far to brief to say everything that I would like to say, but I will be presenting the normal male anatomy and resources for my fellow students to educate themselves about what we're not being taught in school! As the mother of an intact son, it is important to me that our healthcare providers understand normal male anatomy.
Thank you for the opportunity to share this with a larger audience... I hope it helps someone in a similar situation and that they get the same response from their son... i think this singular moment in our father-son relationship has forged a bond between us that nothing ever can shatter...
I’am happy to share my comment on this subject matter in memory it is reported that a small amount of prostate enlargement is present in many men over age 40 (60 percent of men) and more than 90% of men over age 80. Normally the prostate keeps on to develop during a man's lifetime, resulting in enlarged prostate typically only forming later in life. Thus, men in their older age are the most common to report enlarged prostate symptoms.
Still there is a lot to learn about the causes of swollen and enlarged prostate; however some factors are clear contributors. Hormonal imbalances and an unhealthy lifestyle are two of the most common factors to contribute to an enlarged prostate.
Restoring Tally is just an ordinary guy who had to confront his prostate and circumcision problems. This site chronicles his journey in dealing with these issues. He has had prostate surgery and he is restoring his foreskin.
Recent comments
The scar tissue you speak of can be broken up by Evening Primrose Oil. It is usually in a capsule, and you just apply the oil (massage it in) to the scar tissue. It helps soften and release it. I tell women who have had episiotomies (another form of genital mutilation, IMO) to use EPO on their scaring... it helps tremendously.
'Pee in Morse Code' - I like it, a very witty name for an extremely un-amusing condition.
Thanks for the historical context. Being raised in the United States I have learned little about British history other than what I glean from reading literature.
No surprise about British mums and their lack of foreplay. Unfortunately, I beleive that situation is still prevalent today across the pond.
In my opinion, Darby is a richer scholar of human sexuality and the culture of parenting than Gollaher, who wrote a related book about the rise of circumcision in the USA.
British routine circ fascinates because of the way it blended in with the British class system. So much so that a slang name for the circumcised penis was "toff penis." At Eaton and Harrow, 80-90% of the boys were cut. At the upper middle class boarding school Richard Dawkins attended in the 1950s, 50-60% of the boys were cut. Among the sons of men who ate fush and chups and threw darts in pubs, the circ rate was at best 10%. The overall rate never exceeded 35%. British circumcision became like a "cattle brand" denoting better origins, having a mother with aspirations.
In 1945, the British people elected the most left wing government ever. Is it any surprise that that government defunded routine circ in 1950? Why should the taxpayer pay the toffs to have cosmetic surgery done to their penises, so that the toffs would recognise each other in sports changing rooms and when doing Army service?
Because the author is a gay male, he has difficulty appreciating the mind set of British mums and nannies regarding boys' penises. The discovery of bacteria and of the role of human waste in propagating disease was a compelling reason to keep the genitalia clean. But upper British mums, and the nannies they hired, felt that to concern themselves with a boy's penis was beneath their dignity. They also believed that a circumcised boy was clean merely by sitting in his nightly bath. Hence they had boys circumcised so they would be spared having to be concerned about that part of his anatomy. By doing this, British mums revealed that foreplay done to their husbands was not a significant factor in the marital sex life of British upper women. Any surprise??
I've only been restoring for 2 months. I can't wait until I see all those changes.
I did not know about Pima Cotton. I'll have to check out some new underwear!
About 2-3 ago I discovered Banana Republic pima cotton boxer briefs. The pima cotton is noticeably softer and smoother than regular cotton, and I've complete switched to them from boxers.
See you on the forums.
Ha! I got the shivers as well. Great video, I was thinking it was headed in the 'aliens' direction. Love it!
Thanks so much for mentioning my blog on your list. Helps to know others appreciate it. Gloria Lemay, Vancouver BC Canada
As a mother, a doula, a sex educator and a human being, thank you for keeping your son intact, and for sharing your story. Your candidness will help other families, especially fathers, navigate these waters. Many blessings!
It takes a courageous man to recognize the harm done to him on his organ of pleasure and procreation and to protect his son from the same wounding. Your ability to explain your decision to your son is commendable!
Before my grandson started kindergarten, I explained to him that children could be very cruel to one another. I was called "four eyes" because I wore glasses, but I couldn't take my glasses off to avoid teasing because I wouldn't be able to see. I told him that some men told me they had been teased because they were intact when most of the boys in their school were circumcised. I said, "If anyone ever teases you, it's because they don't understand normal anatomy or because they might wish they were intact, too, but can't admit it." Matthew replied, "Don't worry, Nana, I won't tease them back; they've been hurt enough already." This is not unlike the comment your son made. Children usually understand. Another 5-year-old, when he learned about circumcision, said to his mother, "I'm glad you didn't let anyone cut that part off my penis, that's the part that tickles the best!" He knew nothing about the ridged band, with its 20,000 to 100,000 nerve endings, which encircles the opening of the foreskin, but he realized what those nerve endings do. He knew they are the most sensitive part of the penis. Out of the mouths of babes.
Thanks for your brilliant slide show! I will share it with others.
I am saving this so that I can use this to talk with my son in a few years. This brought tears to my eyes. Thank you so much for sharing.
I have learned so much about circumcision and reasons to keep boys intact over the last few weeks. I was honored to interview Marilyn Milos yesterday and after preparing for the show (geared mostly to mainstream parents) I did something I generally don't do. I usually present both sides of issues, bringing forward the benefits and risks and guiding parents to make informed decisions. This show was different, because I feel so strongly after reading the available data and stories like yours that there are simply no benefits that warrant infant circumcision.
Although I am a mom to only girls right now, I just wanted to say thanks. It has been stories like yours that brought this to my attention. And now, in addition to telling the truth about the harm of circumcision, I can also protect my own future sons.
Your story literally brought tears to my eyes.
Thanks too for the images- I'll save these to explain to my daughters when they are older.
This was an awesome read, and I hope I can explain this to my son as well as you did.
Thank you for leaving your son intact. My father was intact but had me cut at age 4 due to 'medical issues'. I have talked to him and he has apologised, that gave me some closure. Foreskin restoration is a long journey but well worth it. When I have a son in the future, I will definitely leave him intact.
When each of my daughters is about to begin her dating life, their mother and I will explain that they can expect two kinds of penises. There are realistic photographic images in Wikimedia Commons that are devoid of pornographic intent. One kind is what Nature makes, the other kind is the result of amputative surgery. Both kinds should inspected for cleanliness before intimacy. Getting a condom on an intact number is a bit harder, but is an art that must be mastered. The extra skin can make for more fun. It really comes into its own in marital intimacy without a condom. Some women much prefer intimacy with an intact man.
Finally, I will tell them that should they ever give birth to a son, to never never cut off the tender moving bits on the end of the penis. That is the Ground Zero of my sexual feelings.
Sorry I have been missing your blog as an intactivist site. I did as you suggested. You have some good information on the Gloria Lemay blog. For example, I added your CIRCUMCISION: A surgery looking for a disease post to my Week in Review of February 13, 2010 post.
You've got to start watching and reporting on my blog http://www.glorialemay.com/blog
There's a subject heading on the right side with my Intact Penis posts.
Thanks for doing this roundup. Gloria in Canada
What a great and sensitive way of handling this subject. I remember having the talk with my son, after he got picked on in the boys bathroom at school. Tough for me, as a single mother, but I did the best I could.
Before my son was born, I had decided that I would definitely not subject my son to the "procedure". My ob-gyn was alarmed, as were nearly all members of my family. My dad, however, told my mom, "Well, I'm not cut. Has that been a problem?" My mom stopped bugging me about it. My pediatrician, who was quite elderly, also had no problem and was very thorough in explaining the care of an intact penis. I am thankful for the support of these two older and wiser gentlemen. At any rate, I recently told my son that the choice was his if he wanted to be circumcised or not. He said, "What? Are you kidding?" So, I guess he is fine with the decision I made as well.
That is awesome!! You handled it so well and you obviously raised a very smart young man. My son is five and he is natural as well. He does know what circumcision is. He does now that other people are and he is not. My husband's family is Jewish and so last year we had to go to a briss (UGH!! That was such an awful experience - not sure I can do it again). He asked questions then and so we gave them to him. At this point he is very happy we did not do that to him.
you are a great dad - what a legacy to give your son.
My sons are 27 months and 3 months and both intact. I'm so glad my husband didn't have any "look alike" issues! I have been wondering how we (or he) would talk about it and you've put together such a nice presentation. I really appreciate the thoughtful logic progression (though I'm fairly sure the tattoo photo you posted was a photoshopped image for fun. I have seen the very same photo without the "Slayer" on the chest.) of talking points that talk about culture and choice. And your son's conclusion is priceless. Good job, Dad. You're raising a compassionate and thoughtful son.
I am so grateful for this slideshow! I hope you don't mind me using it in a presentation for fellow nursing students. We have been "educated" about anatomy with books that depict circumcised penises as normal. We have had no education about the foreskin whatsoever. I happen to be giving a talk about the Genitourinary system that will be far to brief to say everything that I would like to say, but I will be presenting the normal male anatomy and resources for my fellow students to educate themselves about what we're not being taught in school! As the mother of an intact son, it is important to me that our healthcare providers understand normal male anatomy.
Thank you for the opportunity to share this with a larger audience... I hope it helps someone in a similar situation and that they get the same response from their son... i think this singular moment in our father-son relationship has forged a bond between us that nothing ever can shatter...
- mel
I’am happy to share my comment on this subject matter in memory it is reported that a small amount of prostate enlargement is present in many men over age 40 (60 percent of men) and more than 90% of men over age 80. Normally the prostate keeps on to develop during a man's lifetime, resulting in enlarged prostate typically only forming later in life. Thus, men in their older age are the most common to report enlarged prostate symptoms.
Still there is a lot to learn about the causes of swollen and enlarged prostate; however some factors are clear contributors. Hormonal imbalances and an unhealthy lifestyle are two of the most common factors to contribute to an enlarged prostate.
Who is this guy?
Restoring Tally is just an ordinary guy who had to confront his prostate and circumcision problems. This site chronicles his journey in dealing with these issues. He has had prostate surgery and he is restoring his foreskin.
Read more about Tally
Recent Blog Posts
more . . .
Blog Tags
Monthly Archive of Blogs
Recent Web Links
more . . .
Recent comments
Calendars
Foreskin Restoration Calendar
Intactivist Calendar
Terms of Service | About | Contact
RestoringTally.com is a blog addressing Men's issues, particularly prostate problems and circumcised men who are restoring their foreskins.
Tell someone you love how nice it is to have a foreskin.