Am I getting old or what ?!?
I remember a time, just a few years ago, when I did stuff. For example, my extended family used to celebrate Christmas in Florida. My wife and in-laws would fly there and I would drive. I would leave in the evening, drive all night, and pick them up at the airport. I enjoyed the drive, the solitude, and the peaceful feeling of putting miles on the highway. I don't do that any more.
I don't know why. I just don't do stuff like I used to.
This past month really proves that I am not the man I used to be. Two weeks ago Hayseed Dixie was appearing in a town 1-1/2 hours away. I like Hayseed Dixie's music and I really wanted to see them. They play a different type of music, often coveing heavy metal, bluegrass style. The video below is one of their songs.
The Hayseed Dixie show started at 9pm on a Friday night. I had a meeting scheduled for 10am Saturday morning. By the time Friday night rolled around, I did not feel like making a three hour round-trip, so I did not go.
Then there was this weekend. This week is the Genital Integrity Awareness Week. A major demonstration is being held in Washington, DC. Megabus has a route between East Tennessee and Washington, DC. I could take the Friday night bus, sleep all night on the bus, get there Saturday morning in time to demonstrate and march for genital integrity, and return Saturday night. All for only $35. I cannot buy gas for that amount.
Well, you guessed it. I did not go. Instead, I am writing this blog.
I did not used to be this way. Not too many years ago I would have gone to the concert and I would be Washington, DC. But I am not. Instead I feel tired.
It might be age. Although at 55 I do not feel old. I know that physically I am losing ground. I try to stay in shape, but I am not in the shape I was in 5 or 10 years ago.
It might be burnout. I am doing way too much lately.
I left the office at 4am this morning. My alarm went off at 8am and I was back in the office at 10am. Normally I leave the office between midnight and 2 am. The last three days I've left the office between 4 and 5am. Unfortunately, long hours is one of the disadvantages of being self-employed.
I am also very actively being an intactivist. I spend a lot of time responding to blogs and posts on the internet. I have 6 websites that I maintain. Two of them are work related. The other four websites are for foreskin restoration and intactivism. I spend between 2 and 8 hours a day, every day, being an intactivist and maintaining my websites.
Regardless of the reason, I want my life back. I miss the guy that would hop in the car and take a quick trip.