I'll take mine INTACT, please!
Trying my best to make lemonade out of the lemons that have been handed to me has been challenging. As a 25-year-old woman I feel that I’ve had sex with more than my fair share of men. I stopped counting after 50 (but not much more than that), hence the metaphor above. Most of my experiences can be attributed to a lack of self-respect and the inability to tell someone "NO." I did gain control over my life as I got older though. The last 5-6 years of my life have been more "stable."
In making the "lemonade" out of my life, I have observed several alarming trends among nearly all of the circumcised males I have had intercourse with. I have also noticed a great difference between circumcised men and intact men regarding sexual experience and satisfaction. Overall I have found that vaginal intercourse with intact men was more pleasant and satisfying.
Growing up in a generation of mostly circumcised males I never put much thought into what a "normal" or natural penis was or looked like. I had come to believe circumcised penises were the default. I never knew any differently until I met an intact man. Being young and naïve; my first thoughts of an intact penis were "It’s gross, why would I want anything to do with an uncircumcised penis?" I also believed the false claims associated with intact men. It only took me several years to see how ignorant of an assumption that was.
My first sexual experience with an intact man was completely eye opening. I never asked about this guy’s penis prior to having sex with him and I was actually a bit turned on to find out he was intact. It was something new to me and I was willing to let down my guard and give it a try. After that first experience my opinions of intact penises changed. I no longer cared if a man I was intimate with was circumcised or not.
Not until my last intact boyfriend did I actually form some sort of opinion on which type of penis I was more satisfied with. (I was actually surprised with this boyfriend. He said I wanted to have sex too much and that I should want to "cuddle" more often). I started to notice a great difference between sex with intact men and circumcised men. Every sexual encounter I’ve ever had with intact men has been pleasant and extremely gratifying. Overall, intact men seem to be more sensual, loving, intimate and more in touch with their emotions. I have yet to find an intact man that could not satisfy me in one go.
- The first major difference I discovered is that intact penises generally tend to be on the larger size compared to circumcised penises.
- Second, intact men are more willing to please a woman and will work longer at giving a woman an orgasm. The intact men I have been with were more concerned with giving me an orgasm than just pleasing themselves. I’ve had to ask a few of them more than once if they had an orgasm and the answer was usually "no." They would usually wait until after I had an orgasm before having theirs or they would not have one at all. The element of self-control was more evident in intact men than circumcised men.
- Third, I’ve never had to use any form of artificial lubricant while having sex with an intact man. My bits stayed lubricated as they were supposed to and sex did not have to halt because things were "dry."
- Fourth, the sex was less "rough" and did not hurt with my intact partners. I had no vaginal soreness during or after sex. They were not thrusting so hard to feel some sort of friction and hurt me in the process.
- Fifth, I did not have to play "the waiting game" with my intact partners. There was no need for them to recover from their orgasm and try and get an erection again. 99% of the time I had an orgasm before they did.
- Lastly, I have never had an orgasm comparable to what I can accomplish on my own, but sex with intact men has come very close. My orgasms have been extremely intense, more fulfilling, and more satisfying with intact men.
Sadly, the majority of my sexual partners have been circumcised. Sex with them was usually less than satisfying. None of it has been really distinctively memorable. Most of them seemed uninterested in foreplay, being intimate, or sensual in any way.
- The first issue I’ve encountered with almost all of my circumcised partners is that they all seemed to be in a rush and uninterested in pleasing me.
- Second, most of these men had premature ejaculation issues. I have never encountered that with intact men. It seems as if the circumcised men had some sort of time limit on them and could only last for a maximum of 5-10 minutes. That is nowhere near enough time to give me any sort of satisfying orgasm.
- Third, circumcised men seem to have more erectile dysfunction problems. After having an orgasm there is a very long wait period in which most of my circumcised partners needed to wait until their penis could become erect again. That is if it even got erect again at all. During that time my sex drive would slowly diminish and then I would have to be "worked up" again to be any bit turned on. If I were lucky, the cycle wouldn’t continue.
- Fourth, my circumcised partners almost always seemed to thrust harder to get some sort of friction and ended up hurting me in the end. I could be sore for a few days if I had let a circumcised partner go at it really rough with me.
- Fifth, almost all of the circumcised men I had been with had to use some form of artificial lubrication. I would become "dry" from so much in-and-out motion that we would need to use lubrication. I never had to use any with intact men because their foreskin had held my natural lubrication in without having to pull their penis entirely out.
- Lastly, sometimes I would become so frustrated with having to wait and wait for my partner to become erect again or that I couldn’t have an orgasm that I would end up crying. I had bouts of anger, sadness, slight depression and even loss of self worth because my circumcised partner could not please me, didn’t want to or I got tired of waiting. I had even threatened to breakup with boyfriends over these issues. For a long time I didn’t want to have sex at all or would hold out because it wasn’t worth it to me. It was just setting myself up for a letdown.
I still face many of the above issues today with my current partner. I try not to hold his circumcised penis against him though. After all, he didn’t choose that for himself. His choice was taken away from him as an infant. We talk here and there about possibly restoring his foreskin, but so far he hasn’t seemed that interested. It has to be something he explores on his own and it isn’t going to help with constant nagging from me.
I’ve come to understand that some women have no issues having an orgasm with almost nothing done to them, but the majority I have spoken with are like myself. We need to be worked up to a climax. I am sure that woman can have great sex with circumcised men. I’d like to think that when a man’s penis isn’t completely mutilated by circumcision he is more capable of pleasing his partner. There are several degrees of damage caused by circumcision and one man may not have as bad of trauma as another. I enjoy sex with my partner to an extent, but I don’t rub it in his face when he can’t get the job done or done very well. He understands it is an issue when I’m just laying there waiting and waiting for him. That is enough to convey the message to him.
Hopefully, as my partner ages he may become more interested in restoring his foreskin. I can only hope that the issues he has with his circumcision do not get worse as he ages. I hope that my experiences can help others understand why they might not be having the best sexual relationships. If you’re not completely happy, don’t just drown in your sorrows about it! That has not helped me and I don’t believe it will help anyone else either. It’s always best to communicate with your partner about how you feel and suggest ways to improve your intimacy.
The above post is by Faith Intactivist, a guest blogger who is an intactivist and fights for genital integrity. You can find Faith on her Facebook page.
I am inspired to hear from women about the benefits of having a foreskin. I thank Faith for sharing her thoughts on the Restoring Tally blog. She confirms that foreskin restoration is worthwhile and the right thing to do. ~ Tally
Related links:
- Faith Intactivist's blog
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Comments
#1 Agreed.
As someone else who had a pretty wild youth, I have to agree with you. The first time I had sex with an intact man, I thought it was fate or chemistry or something crazy that made sex so good. It was simply a completely different experience. I had orgasms during sex for the first time. We had sex 20 times in a day once...but we didn't have much else in common. It took me a few years to figure out that what I fell for wasn't the man, it was his foreskin! I became an intactivist when I realized that the reason I didn't usually have orgasms during intercourse wasn't ME or my relationships, it was a vital and missing body part.
When I met and fell in love with the man I married, part of me was sad, thinking he was like all of his peers. When I found out (in conversation) that a clotting disorder as a baby had left him intact, I was more determined than ever to marry him. :)
#2 It sounds like fate found
It sounds like fate found you! I am actually amazed that your husband is intact even with his medical condition. So many people are still cutting their children despite how many medical conditions they might have. It's indeed sad but I am glad that someone had the common sense to not cut your hubby. =)
#3 Thank you very much, Faith!
Faith, your post is awesome, deeply moving, and very very revealing. It is a great example of what I mean when I say that women of your generation using the internet to share sexual truth will finally end American routine neonatal circumcision. More and more mothers of your generation will say "I want our daughters to experience that gliding action and that male staying power."
#4 Faith and her two numbered lists
Let me comment on your numbered list of advantages of being intact.
1. I do not believe size matters for most women, and intactivism is about the quality of the penis, not its quantity. That said, intact men may have longer erections because the foreskin supplies the extra skin an erection requires.
2. You are not the first woman to report that intact men can do a better job of controlling their ejaculations. This is a very important counter to the myth that circumcision makes men last longer and hence more able to please.
3. Missus D uses lubricant with me even though I am intact.
4. I am a lifelong str8 male. That said, I tend to agree with you that intact men are less rough than cut ones. I have no urge to go in and out faster than she breathes. Danielle Stewart on YouTube has denounced some of her past partners for "frat boy" sex. I am convinced that their being circumcised was to blame. The frantic pace of men in porn is unnatural to me and probably an artifact of their being circumcised.
5. Missus D tells me that every man she's known who could continue intercourse after ejaculating a first time was intact.
6. "My orgasms [with intact men] have been extremely intense, more fulfilling, and more satisfying with intact men." Other women report this.
Your reported drawbacks of men being circumcised.
1. I am reluctant to generalise.
2. Missus D, who has had far more sexual experience than yours truly, reports that every man she dated who suffered from PE was cut. And by PE, she meant climaxing in 15 seconds or less. That is nowhere near enough time to give me any sort of satisfying orgasm.
3. Missus D concurs.
4. I have read many women post and comment to the same effect.
5. Missus D always uses lube with me.
6. I noticed in college that many women complained about sex, or acted up in a way that strongly suggested to me that their sex lives were not satisfying. I then thought that men being too proud to give foreplay was the problem. I now suspect that circumcision was part of the problem.
Bottom line. I am very very lucky to be intact despite being a 64 year old American. But it took me decades to appreciate that fact.
#5 Intact men
I was told in pre-adolescence that I had been circumcised as an infant. My penis looked almost like most other boys, but there was a lot of loose skin gathered behind the corona. I had seen three or four intact boys since I was five. When I was 22 I decided that since skin can stretch, and that mine would cover my entire glans if I held it in place, I started taping it every night when I went to bed and let the erections do the stretch work. It wasn't long until it would remain partially covered during the day. Now, 52 years later, my foreskin covers completely most of the time except wnen I have an erection. Even then, it rarely retracts completely, The difference is that I had a frenoplasty--surgical detachment or removal of the frenum. This did not cause removal of my preputial sphincter, which neatly closes the opening of the foreskin. but not tightly enough to cause a problem.
it is well known that the drying or keratinization of the glans begins to be reversed as soon as there is significant coverage. It can't replace all the lost nerve endings in the discarded foreskin (in my case only the frenum) but if there is any of the ridged skin left, that becomes exquisitely sensitive to very light touch when the foreskin is NOT retracted, much like the male nipples, another erogenous zone of which many women seem unaware. As a gay man who came out at 43, I have had a history of triple orgasms with a majority of the intact men I have exrerienced, but with only one circumcised man, I had five with him, but he had an extraordinary amount and quality of sexual energy. My experiences led me to listen for European accents in my cruising years.
Here is something about AIDS prevention. Some doctors claim circumcision reduces AIDS transmission. This may be true in Africa, but when one compares the U,S., where the rates of both circumcision and AIDS are high, with all the countries of Europe, where both rates are much lower, it would seem that in an industrialized country, circumcision increases the transmission of AIDS. All the possible complications of circumcision, which existed long before AIDS and wheh so well documented in the British medical journal Lancet, gave me the will to resist letting my two sons be circumcised in the 60s.
#6 I love intact men!
I have had both intact and circumcised partners and the difference is tremendous! There is, in my opinion, the bonding issue which circumcised men seem to lack in intimacy. Then there is the lubrication issue which circumcised men lack as well, which makes sex rougher compared to intact men who don't need to thrust like they can't fell anything. Also, I do not like scars which are present on circumcised penises yet the intact ones are smooth, velvety and have uniform coloring and texture. I have not yet had sex with a circumcised man who could bring me to orgasm, yet every intact man I have had sex with has......
I am now married and have a son who we decided to leave intact as well and I am happy that he is a whole person! I wish I could understand the American society's need to literally amputate the most sensitive and pleasurable part of the male anatomy for the sake of , let's call it, "cleanliness" which is totaly bogus! Man was created to clean ALL of his body parts and not chop off any usefull ones. There is no need to circumcise as we were endowed with two hands which can wash under the foreskin, or so I have noticed! The penis, intact, is beautifull and the way it should look. As a man ages, the foreskin retracts as needed and before adolescence it should not be looked at as a redundant body part. It is as usefull as, lets say, the lips, or the eyelids and has similar functions as these body parts.
I have encountered countless women and girls who think and say that circumcision is the way to be "normal". How sad must it be for the women who have never had sex with intact men!!!!! Ignorance has made me write this comment and to urge people to educate themselves for the sake of pleasure if for nothing else!
Foreskins are beautiful, pleasurable, protective and not dirty at all! How is it that women do not need to be circumcised in America? We all have the same parts yet we aren't dirty as intact men suposedly are????? What if we started to remove our clitoral hoods and labia as we judge the African countries for mutilating their women????? Is it a double standard or am I just crazy to think women and men should live and l love their intact bodies????? Wake up, America!!!!! We aren't primitives, we don't live in tribes and our intactness is what ultimately shapes us as humans!!!! Right down to our thoughts processes and behaviour!
#7 This is depressing, I have no
This is depressing, I have no foreskin and I basically hate my parents for doing this to me.
#8 But there is hope . . .
Foreskin restoration is an option. And based on this post, it is an option that will be well received.
Based on my experience, foreskin restoration works and produces very good results.
#9 Thanks a d
Id always thought having fore skin was terrible and that no woman would ever have intercourse me, mainly because iv heard alot of people say it's ugly and all that.but this has made me more confident about being intact. When I was young I wasent happy with my parents and I would always ask if I could get circumsized. I'm so happy i dident thoe. About a few things you have said, you said you don't like to play the waiting game this is called a refractory period most men get it wether they are circumsized or not, not all men get this but majority do, it should normally Only last about 5-10 minutes depending on how old they are,the older the longer. Another thing is that I don't think that only intact men have a desire to pleasure women more then themsleves, I like to pleasure a women more then myself during intercourse, I always have been like that, I think circumcised men can be like this to. Thanks for posting this its mAde me alot more confident about having sex with my patner, we only recently got togeather, I havent had sex with her yet my previous gf refused to have sex with me as she thought intact was dirty, an ugly, which resulted in me breaking up with her. I'm sure my new gf won't mind me being intact, please help I don't want it to happen to me again, Shes a really nice person and it would be a shame if she broke up with me cus of sex issues, I'm wounderinv if I should just show her this post about why intact is better in a few ways, please help (:
#10 Comment to "Thanks a d"
When I was married and we were expecting a son, my then wife wanted to have him circumcised. I absolutely refused, so it didn't happen. A year later she said mine was the best penis in her considerable experience. When the second one was born, not only was there no discussion, but she advised a few other women not to have their newborn sons mutilated.